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Kelly Aquarium quote

Kellyisms are the malapropisms that are spoken by Kelly Bundy whenever she employs popular sayings (mottos, mantras, proverbs, and the like). Because of her less-than-stellar education and comprehension, these often are misquoted...sometimes by a single word, sometimes in their entirety.


It should be noted that sometimes, even when using a malapropism, Kelly still gets her point across (if not easily); at other times, it's just awkward and silly. Examples of the former case include Kelly's recollection of an awkward date: "He's a good friend, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable with him touching my homogenized (read: erogenous) zones."

Expressions[]

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
ABD ABC 5x19
Adidas Adios 5x10, 10x12
Aquarium Aquarius 4x19
Bras Brows 7x15
Brazil Mentioned as a US State 6x15
Bulgaria Mentioned as a disease 4x11
Buttshell Nutshell 9x17
Chinese Waiter Torture Chinese Water Torture 7x21
Coinkidink Coincidence 7x02, 7x08
Coronary-copia Cornucopia 9x12
Coyote Kyoto 10x10
Da-ta Ta-da 11x09
Dances with Wool Dances with Wolves TOTH: 1x03
Donald and Daffy Ducci Donald and Daffy Duck, mixed with Verducci TOTH: 1x05
East Dakota North/South Dakota 4x21
Electrical Electoral 7x07
Felines Females 9x26
Fox paws Faux pas 6x23
Francis Ford Coppertop Francis Ford Coppola 9x23
Grey Mattress Grey Matter 8x18
G-Spot Ten Spot 3x21
Hunchback Hunch 5x24
Illegitimate Illiterate 4x20
Illiteral Illiterate 7x08
Indonesia Amnesia 11x10
Inseminations Insinuations 5x10
Intersections Interjections 6x10
Jolly Goodfellas Goodfellas 10x15
Lesbian Thespian 9x20
Long Island Los Angeles 5x23
Los Angeles, the Big Apple New York City is known as the Big Apple 6x10
Magnesia Amnesia 7x17
Mental pause Menopause 7x19
Metamucil Metaphoric 7x08
Ministers Minerals 6x17
Mistress Master 5x10
Monte Cristo's revenge Montezuma's revenge 5x02
North and South Georgia Mentioned as US States; Georgia (single state) 6x15
Norwegia Norway 8x03
Optometrist Optimist 7x17
Ping and pong Ying and yang 10x25
Poke High Polk High 3x03
Probation Prostation 5x23
Proctology Ecology 10x07
Reincarcerated Reincarnated 10x25
Rocks Minerals 4x02
Spinach Spanish 10x21
Stereo system Stereotype 9x08
Street Louis Saint Louis 9x11
Terminus Terminal 4x11
Testicle Testica 11x05
Topeka! Eureka! 5x06
Unconscious Confucius 9x26
Urethra! Eureka! 5x06
Vale-dictator Valedictorian 10x08
Vegetarian Veterinarian 8x25
Viola Voilà 3x18
Wallabie Wannabe 6x20

Statements[]

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
As inevitable as death in Texas. As inevitable as death and taxes. 4x16

Buenos Nachos.

Buenas Noches. 5x11
B-U-N-D and sometimes Y. Combination of the spelling of Bundy and English vowels "A-E-I-O-U and sometimes Y". 9x18
Comme ci, comme di. Comme ci, comme ça. 9x12
Down yours. Up yours. 10x15
Fly like the beagle. Fly like an eagle. 7x15
I'm going to hold my breast until I turn blue. I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue. 8x25
I'm on the edge of my feet. I'm on the edge of my seat. 9x26
I'm on the horns of an enema. I'm on the horns of a dilemma. 4x21
I think something's rotten in the state of Denver. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark. (Shakespeare) 4x12
I wear my heart on my sleaze. I wear my heart on my sleeve. 7x21
Is a bear catholic? Is the Pope a Catholic?/Does a bear shit in the woods? 9x14
It's as easy as 1, 2, C. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3. 4x22
It's so hot you could lay an egg on the sidewalk. It's so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. 5x24
Mars to Mom. Earth to Mom. 11x03
My brain beats faster. My heart beats faster. 5x19
Objection stained. Objection sustained. 7x20
Quoth the Raven 'Demi Moore'. Quoth the Raven 'Nevermore'. 7x16
Right, and the check is in my mouth. The check is in the mail. 8x21
Squid pro quo. Quid pro quo. 9x13
Strip-search me. Search me. 6x04
That is the squaw that stroke the camel's sack. That is the straw that broke the camel's back. 9x01
The defense breasts. The defense rests. 7x20
The mind wobbles. The mind boggles. 6x09
The prostitution rests. The prosecution rests. 4x18
The quest for the holy pail. The quest for the holy grail. 7x08
Three out of two. Two out of three. 11x24
You could've knocked me over with the weather. You could've knocked me over with a feather. 6x14
Your words fall off me like water of a duck's quack. Your words fall off me like water of a duck's back. 5x17

Wisdom[]

What Kelly Said What Kelly Means Episode
As Shakespeare said, the plate's the thing. The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king. 7x08
Case of rum, case of rum. Que sera, sera (Whatever will be) 5x13
E before O except before E-I-E-I-O. A mixture of I before E except after C and the song Old MacDonald had a Farm, E-I-E-I-O as an explanation for the spelling of Sheos. 9x23
Feet are cold, starve for pizza./

Starve a pizza, eat cold feet.

Feed a cold, starve a fever. 5x02
He who laughs last, laughs west. He who laughs last laughs best. 6x20
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have seen 'Lost in Space' at all. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 9x26
It turns, therefore I am. I think, therefore I am. 6x20
Make new thoughts, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is old. Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. 6x20
Mom and Dad are my relatives, therefore I am. Combination of Einstein's theory of relativity and René Descartes' I think, therefore I am. 3x22
There, before the flippers, go I. There, before the grace of God, go I. 4x10
Those who can - do, those who can't - do not. Those who can - do, those who can't - criticise/teach. 9x15
To be forewarned, is to have four arms. Forewarned is forearmed. 5x08
Use a condom, go to jail. Use a condom, go to school. 6x01

Non-Kelly Kellyisms[]

What Was Said What Was Meant Episode
You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out We have nothing to fear but fear itself 5x17 (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
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