Al trying to repackage the shoe line
The Shoe Hotline is a business venture Al came up with where people would call Doctor Shoe (Al), and get advice on shoes.
History[]
The idea originally came to Al as he was originally dealing with an expensive phone bill, listing several phone calls to Milwaukee, Wisconsin for Peg's Mom, and toll calls to the "Lust Line" by Bud (consisting of naked woman talking dirty to him) and the "Heavy Metal Hotline" by Kelly (where the first minute cost $3 and $.50 per additional minute, so she would hang up after one minute beliving that she saved Al money that way).
Bud then informs Al that Mrs. Donally called the house and asked what she should do as her slipper won't go over her bunion. After suggesting that she should learn to walk on all fours, Al complains that he if he had a dime for every time a customer would call him up for advice, he would have money. Suddenly, he has an idea, though no one in his family wants to him out: his plan is to start a shoe line, as he knows more about shoes than most poeple.
He decides to make a trip to The Leading Bank of Chicago and visit his friend/neighbor, Steve Rhoades, as he would be able to handle and process loans. He tells Steve about the idea, a toll line where people pay him $2 a minute for advice on footwear and that, unlike a sex hotline, this is something he would actually be knowledgeable in. Steve scoffs at the idea, beliving that a bank wouldn't even lend Al a nickel for his stupid idea. Just then, one of his co-workers stops by a graph near him and makes an adjustment while mocking him, as he and Steve are in the lead to win a trip to Hawaii.
Steve suddely has a change of heart and decides to approve Al's loan, even bumping it up to $50,000 (despite Al saying he only needed $18,000), solely so he could win a trip to Hawai'i. Steve's boss mentioned that Al better succeed and pay back the 50,000 dollar loan or Steve would lose his job.
Some time later, Al sets up the hotline, with several phones placed on the kitchen table. His family seems to think this was a dumb idea, but he ignores their remarks. Kelly points out that his commercial is about to air and they run to the couch, joining Steve, who can't belive he gave Al the loan in the first place.
The commercial consist of Al, sitting in small blue office, dressed as a doctor with a labcoat, stethescope and medical bag, stiffly reading lines and telling the viewers that he is "Dr. Shoe, the man on the side of your feet!". He recieves a phone from a beautiful woman named Muffy who explains that she is going to a party but her shoes hurt her feet because they are too tight. He then moves to where Muffy is and tells the viewers that he is betting $50,000 that they have had similar footwear problems. He gleefully jumps onto the bed with Muffy and gives out the number, 555-SHOE and says "Can I help? Shoe betch'ya!". Muffy says that she is feeling better and as the camera widens, revealing that Al's shoes have the number written on them, he tells the viewers "And remember, se habla shoe".
Despite his effort, his commercial didn't garner any phone calls even as Al stays up to Midnight. He then tells Peggy that he put the house up as the only form of collateral for the loan. As the kids go upstair, Steve remains on the Bundy living room couch, now in a coma-like state, staring into nothing. Marcy arrives and demands to know what is going with the loan, but he remains comatose, until she leans in and orders him to stop playing comatose.
As Al's plan went down the drain, Marcy loaned Al $50,000 from her bank, in order to pay Steve and let him keep his job; being an executive with an impeccable record, Marcy could afford one bad loan. Al however reinvested in his Shoe Hotline, boasting that he will go into the gutter owing $100,000. He proceeds to make several more commercial, essentially pleading with viewers to call in, even if they don't have any sort of footwear problem. Al even attempted to repackage himself as an expert on 'RGNE', and anything else that could be spelled using the same phone keypad numbers as 'SHOE'. Though it becomes clear that no one is calling even when his family and the Rhoades are standing in the same room and looking at Al's failure.
In a last ditch effort, he decides to bring on the Dr. Shoe family for his commercial: Peggy Shoe (who smiles and poses for the camera), Kelly Shoe (who hides her face with her hair), Bud Shoe (who keeps his head down while waving to the camera) and Buck, the Shoe Dog. Dr. Shoe desperaltely pleads to the viewers that it is basically charity if they call in because his family is starving. He also tells younger viewers that they won't need their parents persmission to call in as it will be their little secret and even offers to do things like killing someone if they call in. Just as the staff tell Al his time is up, Marcy runs into the closed set and chokes Al in front of the camera.
Al is then taken to court, presumably for fraud. Peg, who could not be bothered to attend, heard from Kelly and Bud what happened. Al's idiotic idea was the butt of jokes in court until the judge had to get serious and shouting at Al. Steve and Marcy were also punished for their chicanery in that Mr. Pearson terminated Steve's employment at the bank and Marcy got demoted to being the drive-up window teller at her bank. Both Kyoto National Bank and the Greater Bank of Chicago elected to grant a 50-year extension on Al's loans. He remarks that in the 22nd Century both mortgages will be amortized. Al is dejected, until they assure him Dr. Shoe will always have his "Shoe family". Peg says if anything, Al has something to look forward to. Only big shot financiers can say they lost $100,000, and now Al can truthfully say that as well.