Tooth or Consequences is the fourth episode of season 4 of Married...With Children, also the 61st overall series episode. The episode originally aired on FOX on October 1, 1989. Directed by Gerry Cohen, the episode was written from an original story by series creators Michael G. Moye and Ron Leavitt that was made into a teleplay by Sheldon Krasner and David Sailing.


Al gets a toothache and goes to a dentist, who is bitter over his wife divorcing him.


A toothache forces Al to see Marcy's dentist, a divorced man that devotes as much of his time to his work as he does to his young female dental assistant, who's ironically named T.C. At the same time, Al pressers Peggy to cook a square meal for him for just one day. Al has never been to the dentist before. When he complains of a toothache, everybody including neighbor Marcy insists that he goes to the dentist. He can't even enjoy a drink of beer. When he is in the dentist's office, he takes a balloon and stuffed animal to comfort him. The sexy blonde dental assistant, played by Traci Lords, who is also the dentist's girlfriend, asks for the stuffed animal back. Al refuses. When the dentist played by SCTV alumnus Joe Flaherty, gets a look at his mouth, he is stunned to see a lot of things. The dentist reassures him that he can do all of it. In fact, he gets his dental assistant to videotape Al's mouth so they know it's human.

Scene excerptsEdit


*Neighbor: (off-screen) Hey, Bundy! I'm having steak tonight. What are you having? Ha, ha, ha!

*Victor: And did he marry it, Danno?

*Al Bundy: If I was the mailman, I'd be having your wife!

*Al: Ah, Home, Sweet hell...

*Steve: Al, you realize that tampering with your kids dental records is against the law.

*Al: So is dressing up a chicken and calling it your wife.

*Neighbor: Hey, Bundy! I had steak tonight. What are you having?

*Al: If I was the mailman, I'd be having your wife.

Recurring cast/Guest starsEdit


Guest starringEdit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.