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Oldies But Young 'Uns is the 17th episode of season five of Married...With Children, also the 97th overall series episode. Directed by Gerry Cohen, and written by Bill Prady, the episode first aired on FOX, premiering on March 17, 1991.

DescriptionEdit

Its Friday night and Kelly is stuck at home. As Bud comes down the staircase, he notices the smell of Kelly's perfume, and mocks her for being home on a night that she is usually out on a date, hinting that she's been stood up and missed her monthly period. Of course, Kelly ignores his remarks, reassuring him that her date will be there, as she's "had guys crawling on their bellies out of flaming auto wrecks" to go out with her, but Bud continues on, telling her she's losing her appeal. As Peggy walks in and sees Kelly is still home, she also thinks that Kelly has been stood up and offers to comfort her. Al comes home and as soon as Peg tells him about Kelly being stood up, he pretty much shrugs it off and then tells Peg that on his way home, he heard a song that he used to love, but couldn't remember the name. As he tries to wait for the name of the song, he says the DJ never gives it the name and instead talks about a massive pile up on the road that left 12 dead, before starting a Top 500 countdown with the song "Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro.

He tries to ask his family about the song, by humming "hmm, hmmm, hiimmm", to which he is met with mockery instead. Peggy then suggests that he calls the DJ and ask him the name of the song, which he did and said he actually got DJ Rick Cool. Bud then jokingly ask if Bobby 23 Skiddoo quit and then Peg ask what was Rick Cool's response. Al tells them that his words were :"The colors...The colors...Has anybody seen my good friend John?" before lighting up a banana and then hung up on Al. Still trying to figure out where else he could have heard it from, he starts to think it might be on the b-side of one of his records and asked Peg where his record collection is at, who tells that is in the basement next to the furnace, which causes him to sarcastically remark "...nothing brings out the lustre of original records better than intense, siring heat" before calling her a "Lousy, redheaded, life-sucking... mosquito" as he heads to the basement

The doorbell rings and Kelly asks someone to tell her date that she's not home, but Bud suggests that she should do it herself and so, answers the door and tells him that she's not there. Her date then responds by asking if its ok to wait for her inside, with Bud looking on and thinking that his theory that he was switched at birth and her date might be her real brother might be correct. Kelly then asks him why he was late and he tells her that wanted to get her something nice and bought her a copy of "Garfield Spoils The Picnic", which makes her feel happy. She tells him that she needs to pick up her bag first and introduces Peg and Bud as her mom and "The troll that lives under our house". As Peggy introduces herself, Kelly's date keeps suspecting that the noise coming from his apartment might be trolls such as Bud, which causes him to start jumping around and screaming "Look! I'm not a troll! I'm a boy you idiot!"

Al comes up from the basement looking disappointed and holding his now melted record collection, saying "Well I just poured through my record collection...literally" as black liquid pours out. Kelly's date then walks up to Al to
Oldies but young uns

Al pouring over his record collection

greet him and Al realizes that its Vinnie Verducci, who's dad, Charlie, was at Al and Peggy's wedding. Though it appears that Peggy is still mad at Charlie for stealing her mother's cigarette lighter. Al then tells Bud that he should hang out with Vinnie as he is very popular with girls, before pointing out that Vinnie is actually Kelly's date, causing Al to go from laughing to grabbing Vinnie by throat and threatening to hang him with his colon if he touches her. As Kelly comes down, Bud calls her over to make a bet that Vinnie won't touch her and can already see him avoiding her kiss in front of Al before they head out.

After Bud and Kelly leave, Al is still thinking about the song and wants to find someone who might know the name of the song. Then Marcy and Jefferson come in looking for the newspaper that Al stole so they can go see what's playing in the movie theater. He decides to ask them as well, but neither of them have an idea of what it could be and instead comment on the hair in Al's nose that moves like a party favor when he breathes. As Peg continues to mock him, he tells her to go by the radio and see if she hears it while he takes the others to the couch and name off every possible song they could think of. Marcy then tries to convince Al that the song might not actually exist and it just might be a hallucination from being face deep in shoes all day. But he is still determined to find out the name of the song.

Al asks Peg if they played the song yet, but it turns out that she's on the phone contacting a radio show that she's called in before and tells them that her and the neighbors have been taken hostage and need help as Al has gone mad, but Al grabs the phone and hangs up before she can finish talking. Becoming frustrated, he tells them he's not insane and is just doing what any rational man would do, before telling them to help him find the song's name or else the walls will become their tombs. As Peg expresses doubt that it will be played, Marcy stumbles on a station and hears "Goooo with Him. Ahhh Ahhhh" causing Al to dance and be happy about the discovery. As DJ Rick Cool comes on, he tells the audience that the song isn't actually called "Go with Him", but instead tells him, to Al's dismay, that its 3rd song of 5,000 in a row in attempt to set a new record by playing songs for 2 full years interrupted. He then takes a seat and holds his head in disbelief as the jingle "He's Rick Cool!....For the middle aged!" plays.

Vinnie and Kelly are back at her house and reading the Garfield book, laughing at the ants "carrying the la-sag-ne", but she wants him to take charge and kiss her. He then begins to look at the angel and devil on his shoulder, with
Oldies but young uns 3

Vinnie trying to decided whether to make a move on Kelly

both of them saying he should go for it. He then takes the book and throws it, hitting Buck, before taking her down on the couch. But as they are about to start making out, Al comes down the staircase in his pajamas, hating his life and realizing that he "can't eat..can't sleep..can't bury the wife in the back" and then sits down between Kelly and Vinnie. Peggy runs down and tells him to put the cap on the Preparation-H cap next time, saying she's tired of having to scrub the stains out with his toothbrush. He tells the group now that he still can't figure out the name of the song and Vinnie suggest that he call his dad over, as he knows all the classic songs. Peg then starts begging Al not to, but her pleas fall on deaf ears.

Charlie arrives at the Bundy residence and after hearing Al's rendition, telling him it sounds familiar but can't think of the name, before breaking out into his rendition of the Patty Duke them song. Peggy still shows hostility to Charlie for taking her mother's antique cigarette lighter, but tries to convince her that it was a keepsake from their wedding that represents her beauty and a memory that stayed with him, long after he already had it pawned. He continues to sweet talk her before realizing that Al should go to a record store called "Final Vinyl" to see if he can find the name of the song there. He leaves as Al reminds him that he still owes $20 from 10 years ago, but Peggy calls him out before he gets to the door and asks for the watch that he just stole from her. As they leave Charlie quietly asks him if got anything from them, but tells his dad no.

Al finally arrives at Final Vinyl and see the employee named Dave at the register trying to figure out songs based on customers attempts to sing the obscure song they're looking for.

Dave: "Green Door" by Jim Lowe.

Customer 1:  Uhhm Uhhm with the uhhm and a knife.

Dave:  "Wolverton Mountain", Claude King, Isle 3.

Customer 2:  Uhhhhmmmmmm Flow yeeeeaahhhh.

Dave:  "Any Day Now", Chuck Jackson, Isle 4.

Thinking the employee is a music genius, he tries to sing "Go with himmm" to Dave, but he just looks at him bizarrely and tells him he's never heard of it. Depressed, Al starts looking up to the ceiling and asking God hates him that much:

"What a surprise. [Looks up] Thank you, not even this, ahh. What is it? Is Oprah right? Are you a big, fat woman?
Oldies but young uns 4

Al questioning if God could actually show Al some love for once

[Al gets down on his knees] All I wanted was a forty-five, a stinking forty-five...the record or the gun... I'd even settle for the damned malt liquor. Just this once, can you show that you can love even Al Bundy?"

Suddenly the song starts playing on the jukebox and a now excited Al starts dancing and saying "That's my song" over and over again. He thanks God and and says that he'll just have one more request that involves a thunder bolt and Peg. He then calls over the employee, apparently remembering the acutal name and telling him  its called "Anna" and he's willing to buy it. The employee tells him that since he seems like a good customer, he'll sell it to him for $60, but Peg interjects:

"Sixty dollars!? For a record!? Hey, look, you must look at my husband and mistake crazy for stupid. He's not paying you sixty dollars for a record and if he does, I will kiss your..."

Suddenly,  Al and Peggy return home with the new record, careful resting on his folded jacket while Peg is trying to get the taste out of her mouth. He tells her that this is one of the happiest days of his life. He sends Peg downstairs to help him get his record player, but she ends up falling down as Al forgot to tell her that one of the steps is loose. Vinnie and Kelly arrive and she starts to ask him why does he keep talking to his shoulders, but he keeps convincing her that its nothing. Finally she grabs him and forces him to kiss her, making him happy. She asks him why did it take him so long to make a move, and he tells her:
Oldies but young uns 5

Vinnie accidentally breaking Al's copy of "Anna"

"Well, actually I was afraid of your father. But, as we all learned from that moving Jimmy Pearsall story, 'You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out' - Churchill, I believe. And besides, your father likes me. I think we're gonna be great friends."

As he puts his arm around her, he accidentally slams his heel on the record Al just bought on top of the coffee table, as they both look on in shock.

Guest stars/Recurring castEdit

Cast regulars

Guest starringEdit

TriviaEdit

  • The title of this episode is a parody of the expression "Oldies but goodies", a saying to denote older/classic songs that have stood the test of time and are still interesting today.
  • The actual name of the song that Al was looking for is "Anna (Go to Him)" by Arthur Alexander.
  • This episode introduces Vinnie Verducci, who would appear a few more episodes during Season 5 as Kelly's boyfriend. He was played by Matt LeBlanc, best known for his role as Joey Tribbiani on the show, Friends, from 1994-2004 (which was later parodied in the season 10 episode "Enemies"). In addition, his former MWC co-star, Christina Applegate would later make a couple of appearances on Friends, as Amy, the older sister of his friend, Rachel Green.
  • Al tells Peg that he won't have his obsession with an old song "trivialized by a woman who thinks the TV show Hunter is engrossing." Ed O'Neill, the actor who plays Al Bundy, previously guest starred in an episode of Hunter back in 1985 ("The Garbage Man") as a crooked cop.
  • The record store Al goes to, Final Vinyl, reappears in season 7s The Chicago Wine Party
  • This episode also served as the springboard for the "Top of the Heap" backdoor pilot which was the 100th episode of Married...With Children.
  • DJ Rick Cool's line "Has anybody seen my good friend John?" is a referrence to the 1968 folk song "Abraham, Martin and John" by the group, Dion.
  • Dave, the store clerk at Final Vinyl, is played by Suli McCullough, an actor best known for his role as "Crazy Legs" in Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood and Mouse on The Jaime Foxx Show
  • The Garfield book that Vinnie brought for Kelly is most likely made up, although there is a book entitled "Garfield's Picnic Adventure" from 1988
  • Vinnie mentions Jimmy Pearsol, a former MLB player best known for dealing with his bipolar disorder that was turned into a book and movie called "Fear Strikes Out" which he also mentions.
  • Vinnie states a quote by Franklin Roosevelt (often misquoted as "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself"), but messes it up ("You have nothing to fear, but fear strikes out") and associates it with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill
  • The neon sign inside Final Vinyl reads "Final Vinyl - House of Oldies"
  • Al mentions wanting a .45 in the form of a record, gun or the malt liquor.
  • On the original airing of this episode, the song "Anna (Go To Him)" is played over the credits, but on the DVD version, the instrumental replacement music for "Love and Marriage" used from the season 3 and onward DVD releases is played instead.

GoofsEdit

  • Before Charlie and Vinnie leave the Bundy residence, Peg claims Charlie stole her watch. Although Charlie briefly grabs her wrist, throughout the scene, she is not wearing a watch.
  • As Charlie leaves the Bundy house, he is holding his cigar in his right hand. When Pegs calls him out about the watch, the camera cuts back to Charlie and he's now holding the cigar in his left hand and the stolen watch in his right.
  • If the music store jukebox had the record that Al was looking for, how could Dave, the store clerk claim to have never heard of the song before?
  • After Al just happens to catch Anna (Go to Him) on the radio in the kitchen, the DJ announces that he's just played the 3rd of a 5,000 song in a row that supposed to be uninterupted- but after the jingle, nothing happens. No music, no DJ, just silence, even though no one in the room has switched the radio off.

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