Kelly and her rival, Piper butt heads in the episode "Kelly Bounces Back" in Season 5 of MWC.
| Season 5, Episode # 3 |
Number (#86) in series (259 episodes)
|Guest star(s)||Tia Carrere|
|Original airdate||October 28, 1990|
|IMDb||Kelly Bounces Back|
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|"The Dance Show"||"Married... with Ailens"|
Kelly Bounces Back is the 6th episode of season 5 of Married... with Children, also the 86th overall episode of the series. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Al Aidekman, the episode first aired on FOX, premiering on October 28, 1990.
Kelly and Peggy are sitting on the couch, both with their legs crossed and swinging in sync while watching a soap opera on television. While watching the TV, a piano plays over the dialogue on the soap opera:
Blair: Marry me, Sharice. You're the only for me.
Sharice: But Blair, you said that to the twins, who are secretly your daughters, who you fathered while you were in that coma.
Kelly then turns to Peg and asks if that's even possible in real life. Just then, Al, in a depressed zombie like state, comes home from work and Peg points that there have been two cases so far. He then tells the girls that he's in a foul mood and wants to have "a parting of the butts" so he can sit down. As he takes his seat, Kelly asks if the fun is over now, but Peg tells her that its not over until Al takes off his shoes. He then reminds Kelly that since she is now a high school graduate, that "...since 1989, the government only permits one human lump per family" and that its time for her to get a job. Kelly quickly reminds that he is wrong and that Peg told her that she doesn't have to, simply because she is a girl. Al then points out that Peg is part of a dying breed known as "Tyrannosaurus Do-Nothing-us" and informs Kelly that its not too late for her, since she can get up from the couch without making a suction sound. He then asks her to join him as being part of the working class, before Peg points out that she could start by recycling bottles, but not too fast or else she might earn even more than Al, since its two cents a bottle. Al informs Kelly that she can't continue living off of society so she should steal the newspaper from Marcy's house and look through the want ads.
As Kelly leaves, Peg asks Al if he really meant what he said, in that she doesn't do anything a round the house. He points out that if she did any less around the house, "it would be called 'haunting'". Hearing this, she decides to take a stand and inform Al about what she does in the house:
"Well then you have a pretty short memory. Its me who brass-knuckles your underwear into the hamper. And who invented the broomstick with the piece of gum on the end of it to pick up your socks? I believe it was I. Now I do plenty around here. I want an apology and I want appreciation. Until I get some, I, Peggy Bundy, am officially on strike!"
Kelly comes back in with the want ads and tells Al that she might have found something, saying that there is an ad looking for pretty girls that requires no skills, no talent, no experience and no reading required and pays $400 a month. Al quickly points out that she's actually looking at an ad for a modeling school and that he would actually be paying $400 a month, which she seems to not understand the difference between spending and earning money. He asks Peg to explain it to Kelly, but she then tells Al that since she is on strike, she'll only do it if he gets on his knees and tells her how much she means to him. Rejecting that notion, he then tells Kelly that there is no way he'll spend that much money on her to go to modeling school, but she keeps pleading with him that its in her blood to be a model, which Al then tells her that there is no amount of pouting that will get him to change his mind.Later on, Al and Peg look on as Kelly walks around with a book on top of her head as she then turns to face her parents and declares "I...am a model". As she continues to strut and pose, Al turns to Peg, who declares that she is not cooking dinner. He sarcastically replies "Uh oh, I guess then I'll just have to live on love". She then points out he wouldn't be able to since she is on strike, saying "Oh no, I guess then I'll just have to live". Kelly then calls out to Al and points out that his $400 a month isn't going to waste before she trips and knocks over the lamp by the couch. As she reassures Al that she is OK, he tells her to take a seat on the couch so they could have a chat about her modeling skills. She picks up her book and takes a seat near all, once again declaring "I..am a model" before giggling.
Al, looking annoyed, tells her that's it been two weeks since she became a model, but Peg interrupts them, saying that if the phone rings, she most likely won't pick it up. Al then says "Well darn if I miss another dinner with the Trumps because of you, I'm gonna take it out on the help". He gets back on topic, telling Kelly, that perhaps here newly acquired skills should be put to better use, like working at a fast food restaurant. She tells him that she can't stop now, as her teacher told her that she is a natural at crossing her legs, which she demonstrates.Bud comes down and informs her that he did what she asked, which was to record her Garfield books onto audio cassettes so she can listen to it in the car. He then asks if he can finally meet the girls at the school, before she comments on how pathetic he is. Al then asks if there is a type of girl that he might like. Peg comments that maybe they'll have an opening for him as a runway model with dirty underwear. She then uses her fingers to demonstrate what Al could be if he was a fashion model while adding her commentary:
"And now, here's Al, looking frisky for fall in his stained boxer shorts and matching yellowing T-shirt. Ah, note the hole, new this season for easy access scratching. Oh thank you, Al! And walking behind him...his socks. Resplendent in their no toe or heel look. Thanks again, Al"
Al, rubbing his hands and looking psychotic while staring at Peg, comments "Gee, officer, if I thought my wife was missing, would I be in this bar, drinking a beer?" Bud then continues pestering Kelly about meeting the girls and offers to do anything. Kelly suggests that he can be a car called the "280 Zit", since she needs to practice introducing a car so she can audition and be the next spokesmodel. She struggles how to introduce it in an exciting way, as Al looks on and thinks about how $400 just went down the drain. As she continues, she eventually finds a style where she swings her arm across her body and says "The neeewwww...." before she forgets the actual name of the vehicle. Bud suggests that she just write it down on her hand like she did with her name, before she screams out "Topeka", coming to a realization that she has an idea. Bud tries to point out that she didn't say it correct, and then she says "Eurythra" instead, demonstrating her new move, where she squats down and then wiggles her body up as she says "The neewwww....Allante", ending with her arms stretched out and her shaking her hips. She asks him what does he think and he reassures her that she got it down, as she is now happy and declares that she has created "The Bundy Bounce" as she continues to demonstrate it.
At a car show, a group of women in short dresses and high heels are standing around while trying out different ways to introduce the new Allante. Bud and Kelly enter the room, with him excited and saying "I feel like I've died and went to dad's happy box in the basement". Kelly refers to him as Pepe LePew and tells him to control himself and that she's going to practice, leaving Bud to wander around and flirt with the other girls trying out, only to be rejected by all of them. As Kelly continues to practice and recall the name of the car, Piper Bowman, a rival from the modeling school who is also trying out, greets her and notes that she's also trying out for the audition. Kelly informs her that she is confident that the role will be hers, before Piper questions her, noting that Kelly complained of tension headaches during smiling class. She then asks Kelly what she's planning to do as she deliberately flips her hair into Kelly's face. She tells Piper that since she's coming after her, she'll just waiting until the pig calls stop and then follow after her hoof prints. Piper turns to Kelly and they start calling each other names, until Kelly calls her "Can't accessorize" causing Piper to say that really hurt her, but she just smiles and walks away.
Bud continues to flirt with the girls, only to be rejected yet again. He eventually tries his moves on Piper, who eventually agrees to let him touch her hair, if he leaves her alone so she can continue practicing. He then informs her that she's going to lose as Kelly is going to win this. Hearing this as Bud continues to suggest that they get another model and have a threesome, she then asks him if he knows what Kelly plans to do for the audition. He tells her that he promised Kelly that he wouldn't reveal what it was, but after Piper flirts with him, he tells her everything about the Bundy Bounce, giving her the ammo she needs to ruin Kelly's audition. She then leaves Bud, as he tries to follow her, reminding her that she promised that he could touch her hair.
Immediately after that, Miss Beck, the casting director comes in with her assistants and begins the auditions. After a couple of immediate rejects, Piper is called up. As Bud continues to play with her hair, she tells Miss Beck that she is nervous and Kelly suggests that maybe she wouldn't be if she had worn some underwear that day. Miss Beck reassures her that she'll be fine and then she takes the stage, performing the Bundy Bounce that she learned from Bud. After Miss Beck and her assistants applaud, Piper tells them that she calls it "The Bowman Bounce". Kelly, now surprised at what she just saw, wonders what happened and Bud tries to pretend that he doesn't know how she learned that. As Miss Beck and her assistants try to get Piper to sign the paper and have pretty much made up their mind about who won, she reluctantly calls up Kelly as the final audition. As she nervously shuffles up to the stage, she weakly tries to introduces the car, but notices that Miss Beck and her assistants are too busy with Piper to pay attention, leaving her feeling dejected.
Back at the Bundy house, Peg is sitting at the kitchen table, trying to figure out how she can break Al. She then asks Buck, who's laying his head on the kitchen table, if she does things for him, but he tells her "You're not my mommy. My mother had six nipples and would lick my belly". Al then comes in happy with a small bag in hand, and asks if she is still on strike. She ask what does it look like and he tells her that she could be on fire and he wouldn't care. He continues on, saying that this has been the best two weeks of his life, saying that accepting how lazy she is has allowed him to take care of himself, which in turn has led to better food, conversation and with no sex, his hair is growing back fuller now. Peg is quick to point out that its not so much that his hair is growing back, but that his nose hair is growing upward. He then asks if it would help if he told her he needed her and she says yes, but he then laughs hysterically, tell her that because he has his food, beer and ballgame on TV, he doesn't need her, until he realizes that he doesn't have the remote.As he frantically looks around for the TV remote, Peg tells him that she knows where its at, but since she is on strike, she can't tell him. Frustrated, he decided to turn on the TV by going up to it and pressing the button on the set. As the announcer that the game will be back after commercial break, Al tries to change the channel, not realizing that he still doesn't have the remote. He gets up and changes it again, only to find out that event is about go on a commercial break and is forced to her a commercial for feminine napkins, before screaming and turns off the TV. Al tries to reassure himself that he doesn't need TV, before he starts to twitch and noting that its been 10 seconds since he turned off the TV, he begs her to tell him where the remote is at and that he's willing to do anything. She asks him what he is wiling to do, and he questions what else could she want, as he told her he needed her. She then puts a sly grin on her face, causing him to scream out in horror, as he realizes that she wants sex now and he pleads with her, since it's still daylight and they'll be able to see each other, but she doesn't mind, as she remind him that she wouldn't want anything to happen to the remote. As they make their way up the stairs, he continues to cry out in horror knowing what he has to do as she remind him that she wants the full minute and a half of sex and to also take off his shoes.
Kelly and Bud arrive home, wondering how Piper found out about The Bundy Bounce. As she tries to figure it out, she remember that Bud was the only other one to know about it and he gives her a guilty look, but she still can't figure it out. Just then, Marcy stops by to ask them it they both know that Al "is hanging from the window, butt bare to the world, screaming for help", but Bud reassures her that Peg is taking care of him. Kelly tells Marcy that she is mad about Piper stealing her idea and wants to solve it the best way the Bundys knows how to...with "swift and blinding violence" as she grabs the baseball bat by the door.
Before she can leave, Marcy stops her and suggests that she should talk about this with her parents. Just then Peg can be heard saying "You can run, but you can't hide" and Al screaming in horror, trying to get away. Realizing that they might not be the best people to turn to, Marcy then offers to help and give her advice. She reminds her that she is a woman now and she should act like a mature, sophisticated adult when it comes to dealing with this. Just then, Al covering himself with a blue blanket, screams to the kids to call 911 but Peg quickly grabs him by the back of the neck and takes him back to their bedroom. After seeing that, Marcy continues on that if her parents were actually adults, they probably agree with her that there are better ways to deal with this than using violence. She continues on:
"My advice to you would be to go to this person and appeal to her sense of fairness. Explain how much she hurt you and she'll respond to your maturity with maturity. For women, unlike men, have the capacity to feel. We talk things out and when you tell her that a cheater never wins and a winner never cheats, she'll give you that job back."Though, during the dialogue, Kelly is actually choking Piper on top of the car, and then throws her around the room, punching her until she is finally knocked out. Then, the debut of the Allante is shown, with Kelly doing The Bundy Bounce. After the press moves on, Miss Beck stops by and congratulates Kelly, though wonders out loud what happened to Piper, with Kelly saying it was a stage fight, before correcting herself and saying stage fright. She then walks over to Bud, telling him "I came, I saw, I bounced. Today, the Allante girl. Tomorrow, slut in a Bon Jovi video". Bud tells her to be proud and keep reaching for the stars. He also tells her to be proud that she didn't have to read her hand. But she quickly points out that she did actually write something on her hand. She tries to read "The one who..." and has him read the rest "...told about The Bundy Bounce was... see other hand". As he looks over to her other hand, she waves goodbye with that hand as she lands a gut punch with her right.
- Tia Carrere as Piper Bauman
- Tina Louise as Miss Beck
- Debbe Dunning as Rochelle Alpert
- Joanna Goode as Incense Berkowitz
- Wendy Nichols as Girl
- Don Craig as Car Show MC (uncredited)
- Piper Bowman, Kelly's modeling rival, is played by Tia Carrere, an actress best known for her roles in various movies in the 1990s, such as Wayne's World, Rising Sun and True Lies.
- Miss Beck, the casting agent, is played by Tina Louise, an actress best known for her role as Ginger Grant on the 1960s sitcom "Gilligan's Island"
- Rochelle Alpert, the first girl to audition for the Allante, is played by Debbe Dunning, an actress best known for her role as Heidi Keppert on the TV sitcom, "Home Improvement from 1992 to 1999.
- One car at the car fair room is called "Improta", a reference to Richard Improta, the art director of Married...With Children from 1989 to 1997.
- When Al makes a sarcastic remark about missing another dinner with the Trumps, he is referring to Donald Trump, a business magnate, television personalty and author.
- Ed O'Neill and Tia Carrere would later star together in the film "Wayne's World" and its sequel two years after this episode was filmed.
- Kelly refers to Bud as "Pepe Le Pew", a cartoon skunk that was portrayed as a French stereotype, who would always look for love, but would be rejected due to his smell and his refusal to take no for an answer.
- Kelly mentions Bon Jovi, an American band that, at the time of this episode, was well known for its glam metal style of music.
- While Kelly is practicing her modeling in front of Al and comments about him wasting $400 a month on her training, she accidental trips and knocks over the lamp next to the couch. When Al walks with her to the couch to talk about the modeling school, you can see the lamp shade is down and the bulb is exposed. When they both finally sit down and Kelly declares that she is a model before giggling, you can see that the lamp had somehow been fix in that brief amount of time without either of them picking up the shade.
- After Kelly tells Piper that she'll be careful to follow her hoofprints, it's obvious that Tia Carerre is trying to force herself not to laugh.