How To Marry a Moron was the 23rd episode of season 11 of Married... with Children, it also being the 258th overall series episode. Directed by Sam W. Orendor and written as a teleplay by Pamela Eells & Russell Marcus rrom a story penned by Vince Cheung and Ron Montanio, the episode, which was the second half of a two episode story arc that was preceded by the episode titled "Desperate Half-Hour", premiered on FOX-TV, as both episodes of the arc aired together on May 5, 1997.


Al objects to Kelly marrying an armed robber, until he discovers that he's the heir to a family fortune.

When Lonnie Tot, an armed robber, along with his then-girlfriend [[Starla (Tricia Cast), who is Bud's pen-pal from prison, holds the Bundys hostage with is freed from prison because it was overcrowded. He asks Al's blessing for marrying Kelly. He even has a ring. Turns out that Lonnie is one of the Tots who own Tot Industries, makers of Weenie Tots. Suddenly Lonnie is most welcome to the Bundy family.


After the police apprehend his then girlfriend Starla, who tried to hold the Bundys hostage after escaping from prison, Lonnie returns to the Bundy home to ask permission to take Kelly's hand in marriage as he pleads to Al: "Sir, l may not be the smartest man in the world or the most successful but l love your daughter and l would give my life for her!" Al, then not enamored with the seemingly honest, but dim-witted Lonnie, who's a mechanic, then sarcastically answers, "Deal!" as he then tries to strangle him! When he says, "Your father tried to strangle me!" to Kelly, she tries to save face by making up the explanation "Well, that's just how we show affection!", as he then dim-wittedly returns the favor to Al, almost strangling him!

When Al discovers that the diamond ring that Lonnie presents Kelly isn't fake, but a real cubic zirconia, he also learns that Lonnie is an heir to Earl Tot, the owner of Weenie Tots, namely, the owner's son, which makes him change his tune about the lad, as he begins to see dollar signs! However, Al's hopes are dashed when it's revealed that Lonnie, who admits to Al that he's at The Jiggly Room every Friday night, has a roving eye, as he catches him with four strippers there at The Jiggly Room as he then steals his lap dance as well as all the attention from the girls, and then later just moments before Kelly and Lonnie's wedding reception is about to begin as Lonnie, whose hormones seem to be in overdrive, tries to make a move on Marcy D'Arcy, who slaps his face!


Main castEdit

Recurring cast/Guest starsEdit