Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me was the 13th episode of Season 3 of Married... with Children, also the 48th overall series episode. Directed by Gerry Cohen and written by Robert Ulin and Gabrielle Topping, it originally aired on FOX on March 19, 1989.

Episode summaryEdit

After getting Polk High's dance club in trouble during a field trip, Kelly is forced to join and perform tap at the school talent show. Meanwhile, Al thinks there is a conspiracy among the women when his socks end up missing. 

Steve attempts to teach Kelly how to tap dance but she is still annoyed at the idea of humiliating herself on stage. So she decides to go her own way on the day of the performance.

Kelly ends up performing in the school talent show, but does her own number under Peggy Lee's "Fever" instead of tap-dancing. Rather, she performs her own sexual dance with the janitor Bruno, who joins her on the floor and they mesmerize and turn on the crowd. Everyone in the audience gets sexually aroused and begins smooching, including Marcy, who attacks Steve (while Steve was giving a running commentary on Kelly's tap dancing). Even the Principal is aroused and starts touching Al, who is annoyed at the idea of everyone being stimulated by his daughter's performance.

Recurring cast/Guest starsEdit


  • The title of this episode is a reference to the part of lyrics from the song "I Won't Dance", performed by actor/dancer Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.


  • When Kelly and Bruno are dancing, a close up shot of Bud is shown, watching them dance before one of the Ganaywick sisters grabs him from behind and starts to kiss him as he reels back in horror. Yet when the camera pans around the stage as they continue to dance, Bud can be clearly seen standing behind the curtain by himself, watching the performance while scratching the record, which should have affected the song if it actually was playing music at that point.

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